Nicole Ari Parker finds freedom at midlife

Nicole Ari Parker was freshly moved into her upstate New York home thrilled to welcome the splendor of autumn. She’s a four-season girl at heart. After having spent three decades living on the West Coast, the film, television and Broadway star — whose breakout role in Showtime’s hit series “Soul Food” made her a household name to millions — returned to her native coast.

“I’m from Baltimore. I’m an East Coaster,” she says. “I went to school in New York; I went to NYU. I was here (in New York) way before I had kids and before I was married with kids. So, I was the East Coaster in the house.”

At 55, she’s living a personal and professional renaissance, rewriting the script on what midlife looks like, proving that possibility and self-discovery have no expiration date.

In September, the mother of two walked the runway at New York Fashion Week for designer Victor de Souza. She is set to play Bernadette Stewart, the exceptional mother of superhero John Stewart in the HBO Max DC Studios series, “Lanterns” and is celebrating her 20th wedding anniversary with her husband, fellow actor Boris Kodjoe whom she met during the filming of “Soul Food” and married about a year after the show’s four-year run.

Most recently, she wrapped her run as Lisa Todd Wexley, a career-defining role as a series regular in the “Sex and the City” spinoff, “And Just Like That,” starring alongside Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis.

Grown-woman era

Beyond the spotlight, Parker has also embraced a deep personal shift. After decades of living in Los Angeles, she now happily calls upstate New York home, a move that came at the perfect time with her son now playing professional basketball overseas in Germany and her daughter studying at Howard University in Washington, D.C. For Parker, it wasn’t just about geography, it was about honoring the pace of life she desired and finally finding that sense of home again.

Reflecting on her years out west, she admits the City of Angels didn’t truly feel like home. “I struggled in LA,” she confesses. “I had great friends, but I’m such a city girl. I like being a pedestrian. I enjoy meeting someone for dinner, going to the theater, attending church and then walking home to do all the things. I love the city life.”

Parker speaks freely and transparently, and you get the sense that her life isn’t centered around the next big role, award-winning achievement or red-carpet moment. It’s about a woman stepping fully into herself and embracing the joys, woes and in-betweens that come with it.

In this chapter, it’s all about choosing projects and a lifestyle that feels aligned. From navigating Hollywood’s demands to prioritizing family and carving out space for her own well-being, the actress isn’t shy about speaking on the lessons she’s learned, the wisdom she’s carrying forward and the limiting narratives she’s finally letting go.

“I’ve always been free and joyful,” she says. “I just love being so seasoned about life. I feel as women, we carry insecurities for a long time, and then one day it hits you that you’re grown and it’s like, ‘Oh, okay, I can actually do what I want.’”

It’s a proclamation that she boldly stands by. “I can actually think my thoughts and a lot of fears go away,” she says. “I’m braver now and I listen more. I feel very grounded. It’s just that I love being a grownup. I love it.”

Drawing from her own journey of stepping fully into her grown-woman era with grace, joy and unapologetic confidence, the mother of two hopes that women of all ages might find some inspiration in her story.

“Keep going,” she says. “That’s a cliché in a way, but don’t be afraid to rest. There are a thousand more reasons to say yes to yourself than there are to say no. I say keep believing in yourself, stay prayed up and connected to the people you love. And it’s going to happen.”

This kind of resilience and reinvention hasn’t only shaped her personal life, it has also defined her professional journey, helping her remain a Hollywood mainstay for over three decades. “If you know something about being an actor, it’s that this industry is crazy,” she says. “I know how much I love the theater. I know how much I love acting, learning how to act and I’m so grateful that I didn’t give up.”

But perhaps the most surprising lesson Parker has learned over the course of her career is one that perfectly connects with her evolving sense of womanhood.

“Besides being able to work with such great people — writers, actors, producers, directors — it has accelerated my personal growth because you have to recover from all the nos,” she says.

It’s a sentiment all women can relate to, because rejection is a part of everyone’s story, regardless of the profession. “You have to believe in yourself constantly to get up and go to the next audition. You have to start really being intentional about your mental self-care and your physical self-care, obviously. It’s anchored me in a way and fast-tracked me in a way, too. And I’m grateful for that. As much as it’s kicked my butt, it’s built me up as well.”

Sweat, style and strategy

Beyond the flashing lights, Parker stepped into the health and wellness space as an entrepreneur with her brand, GymWrap. The seed for the company was planted in 2011 after she recognized a common challenge for everyday women: preserving hairstyles while still getting in a good sweat. Her solution was to create a line of sweatbands and headwear designed to bridge that gap. Parker beamed with pride at the mention of risk, because building it from the ground up came with many challenges.

“There are so many pockets of information you don’t know when you’re starting a business,” she admits. “I didn’t have a business degree, but I wasn’t afraid to feel dumb. I asked questions, found a manufacturer, went through 17 prototypes, tested them, listened to customers — every single step I did. That’s why it’s my baby. I made it with love.”

A lasting love

Beyond business and career milestones, Parker says much of her balance comes from the steady partnership she has built with her husband, actor Kodjoe, and their two children, Sophie, 20 and Nicolas Neruda, 21. “They’re with me in my heart, in my mind. I think that when you have children or raise them, you become very conscious that you are no longer just one person. I’m four people, and so I feel very full,” she says. “I’m me, my husband, and our two kids. And it’s really gratifying because I’m an only child. I can’t be selfish or self-absorbed, and it’s given me a lot of joy to be four people. I feel mighty every day.”

Dreams still to come

Parker’s ambition continues to stretch her in new directions. She’s taking voice lessons, chasing a lifelong dream of one day starring in a Broadway musical. “I’ve been on Broadway in a straight بهترین بک لینک play ( “A Streetcar Named Desire”) but not a musical,” she says with a huge smile. “So, I’m working on that.”

Yet for all the dreams still ahead, Parker remains intentional in what it means to live fully in the present. To her, that’s the true essence of being a modern woman.

“I think a modern woman is conscious of her whole self,” she says. “It means creating your own rules, defining what you feel is necessary for your own well-being, and enjoying every single minute, even in the hard times. Find the place where it’s an opportunity to grow more, to love more, to be more and to speak up for yourself more.”